Not My Culture: Black Vs Ni**a

Let me say this loud so it echoes in every space that ever tried to silence women like me: I am Black. I am proud. But I am not your damn mascot.

There’s a difference between loving your Blackness and staying loyal to the dysfunction that’s been disguised as “culture” for far too long. And that’s what I talk about in Episode 21 of The Divested Diary — Black vs. Ni**a — the uncomfortable but necessary line we’ve gotta start drawing.

Too many of us have been guilted into silence. Told that calling out the toxicity makes us “self-hating” or “anti-Black,” when in reality, we’re just tired. Tired of seeing Black women expected to endure everything and say nothing. Tired of the stereotypes that paint us all as loud, angry, bitter, single, broke, or baby mamas. And tired of the way dysfunction has been normalized, celebrated, and passed down like tradition — all while we suffer in silence trying to hold it together.

Well, I let it go. I divested. Emotionally. Romantically. Spiritually. Culturally.

In this episode, I broke down the difference between being connected to your heritage and being bound to harmful cycles just because you share skin color with those who perpetuate them. This isn’t about hate. It’s about healing. And healing doesn’t happen when you keep cozying up to chaos.

What I’m Saying Is This:

Black excellence should not mean surviving abuse.

Being “down” for the community should not mean going down with the community.

And loving yourself as a Black woman should never require you to suffer in silence just to “prove” your loyalty.

You deserve peace.

You deserve real love — even if that love comes from outside your race.

So no, I won’t be defending dysfunction.

I won’t be the poster child for poverty, pain, or the ghetto.

Not anymore.

This episode is for the Black women who feel what I’m saying but have been scared to say it.